Updated: Apr 12, 2020
Lesson: Everyone has their bad days.
My toes hurt.
I wore my Latin heels for the first time in ages. I also wore them without socks, so the emerging calluses on my feet were really happy. I always feel unstable when I dance in heels, so I asked Kris and Alisa for advice. One suggestion was to place my weight on the inner part of my foot, but never on the outer edge. Alisa said something along those lines, but she said not to put so much weight on the inner part that your knees are inverted inward. So basically, I don’t know what to do!
I watched the video from practice three times before I (sort of) liked what I saw. I have a tendency to pick myself apart the first time I see myself dance on video. The videos I post on YouTube? They’ve gone through five, maybe ten levels of criticism. I judge myself until I’m too exhausted to judge anymore, then I say something like “the heck with it” and post. I’m trying to change that.
After the first two times of watching the video from practice, I decided to focus on how much I’ve improved rather than what I wasn’t doing correctly. It made me feel a bit better, but I think I’m still being too hard on myself.
I haven’t danced with a partner in a long time. I haven’t danced with a partner as good as Kris in a long time.
What’s tough about International Latin is that it requires you to be fearless. It asks you to be over the top, sensual, confident, etc. I’ve gotten less shy as a result of dancing Latin for 10 years, but I still hold back sometimes. I feel embarrassed flailing my hips all the time! That can’t happen in International Latin--you have to look like flailing is the most natural thing in the world!
I don’t know how I’m gonna do it. Hopefully, I’ll feel more comfortable during the next lesson. Scratch that: I WILL feel more comfortable in the next lesson. This spotlight is more important to me than I realized. If everything goes well, I’ll prove that I have what it takes to be a ballroom dancer. I know I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself, but I want good results. I NEED good results.
More later: I have to soak my feet now. If you’ve read this far, congratulations! You’re now my favorite subscriber.
Until next time,